A Thank You Note

My adventurous American year is now over, but all that I gained from this year stays true in my heart (brain?). I owe a lot of people for this year; my family of course for all the chit chats in the dining room table every nights (that includes motivations, supports and preaches. very important!), my ICESTAGE friends for their supports, jokes and for being there for me everyday for 2 whole years, my best friends in and outside school for their listening ears ( I LOVE YOU!), the AFS returnee whom I asked a lot of questions to (you know who you are), AFS 51st generation across Indonesia, especially those who have got very close to me and shared a lot of things together (I heart you all), everyone in Bina Antarbudaya for their patience and motivations, coach, friends and teachers at Hugh C Williams senior high, neighbors who were very nice and charming, and last but not least, The Wheelers family for having to put up with me for a year...



When I first created this blog, I wanted it to be about my year, that's why it's called The Story of My Year. I treasure it.

Now that the year is over, and so is this blog. (cry...cry..., ). I'm gonna miss writing here. But I've made another blog, this time it's more general. It is of course to fulfill my writing, travelling and snapping pics desires. Specifically, to give meanings to each day. Because I know, my life is going to be interestingly boring (hard to describe), in other words it's just gonna be about school, tests, how to get into good universities, etc and I will take it for granted and live my life like a ... oh i don't know... boring old lad? So I'm challenged to find something new to write about. What's that called? Self-motivation. After all I've learned about self-exploration which I think was what this year was all about (among other things).

Last but not least, I want to thank God for everything, being in this world is an unsolved mystery, still. And to YOU! You that only reads my posts, thank you for reading. ^_^ You that read and dropped some comments, THANKS A BUNCH!

The way home

Bus trips. Orientations. Airports.

Eagerness. Happiness. Confusions.



City lights. City lives. All observed from the window of the eyes.

It took days to go home...

New York City. Washington DC. Frankfurt. Kuala Lumpur. Jakarta.

And I'm finally home.

These Last Couple of Days (part 3)

I believe I had a wonderful last day at Canton. Mohsina and I hung out with Kaitlin at her house, we watched 27 dresses and had lunch and goofed around, not wanting the time to fly. Afterwards, Mohsina, Carl, Yilun and I went fishing. It was my first time fishing and I guess I didn't have much patience. I didn't catch any, and I ended up taking pictures of the area, knowing that I wouldn't find anything similar once I arrive in Jakarta. I savored each breeze and view...

I spent the night packing.

The next day, I was on my way.

Regrets

I should have taken photography and drop french. I should have taken ceramics/choir/ drawing and drop biology. After all, this is a year of experience!

To be honest, I have a defunct right brain. Arts and musics are subjects that I have been longing to explore but I never really wanted to fully immerse myself in them because I didn't have much confidence. I tried to draw, but it turned into a complete mess. I tried to play a musical instrument, I sucked big time. I tried to capture memorable moments, but other people's photographs are more attractive.
I can still remember when I was little and it was my first time to be exposed to watercolor pencils. My friend asked, "Why do they call them watercolor pencils?"
"Because you use them with water," I answered confidently.
"How?"
I thought for a moment, "Like this!" I dipped the pencil into a glass of water and drew with it, "See? The colors are more beautiful. Very deep."
A few seconds later, the new watercolor pencils that my parents had just bought me turned into blunt, mushy, pencils and we had to throw them away.
Yes. That's how artistic I was.

This year, just when I ignored my right brain's inactivity and grew my confidence towards my left brain, it betrayed me. I was attending a Model UN conference in Syracuse when I realize this. Maybe it was lack of preparations, maybe it was boredom, that I began to feel uneasy with the whole conference. They were talking about world problems, I asked a couple of questions at the beginning of the conference and then I got bored and started writing on my notepad, thinking that I would suck to be a minister or any other government officials.

Writing is my passion. I write whenever, wherever, I like details and impressions. I like numerous works of literature, admire the authors, love their perspectives. Reading is not only the window of the world, but also the door to the human minds.
You think if I like writing so much then I would take journalism or creative writing for college? Well, I don't want to take them. You see, being a journalist is probably the last thing I want to do. (No offense to journalists out there, I adore a lot of your writings). It's just that I don't like to have to write all the time, being chased around by deadlines, I want to want to write, whenever and however I like. Then become a novelist? Maybe I'm an idealist, but if my novel is to be published, I'd want a pure creative story that goes around a complete circle and finishes like a drop of water in a glass of oil. Immersed, but in shape.
But to write creatively, my right brain has to be activated.
And yes, I am in the process of activating it. Meanwhile, I will still be writing random stuff.
Just like this.

One of my teachers wrote a college recommendation letter for me and I happen to read it. In one of the paragraphs, she wrote that I could achieve whatever goal I set for myself in whatever field of study. That might sound cliche, but it motivated me to explore myself.
I won't deny that this year has been a great self-exploration for me (if not discovery), I had the chance to do things I never would have done. And yes, I realized that I don't know a lot of things. All these years, I suppose I should say that school is taking over my life. Not that I hate it, well that's the problem, I love it so much that I didn't open my eyes to new things. Call me a nerd (these days, I bet there's only a handful of people who could say that they love school), but that's just the way I am. I love solving ridiculous figures on my scrap paper. It's great to know that a quark is smaller than a quantum, or the other way around I don't even remember anymore. And the idea of knowing that every particles have energy was just intriguing. And yet, after years and years of scientific reasoning, I got nothing but confusions.
Russell Crowe in The Beautiful Mind says "I've made the most important discovery of my career... the most important discovery of my life. It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found. I'm only here tonight because of you. You're the only reason I am... You are all my reasons." In here, he was referring to his wife.

Love is one thing that all human beings have. Yet, there seems to be a lot of problems going on with love. Then I began to draw a conclusion, that a lot of people view love as their lives, when actually it is supposed to be the watercolor pencils of your life. To color, to decorate.
Once, I had a boyfriend that pointed out to me angrily, "You love everybody too much, you don't have time for me!" Well, thanks to him that I realize how much I loved intimate relationships with others and I often fell deep into it and maybe thought of it as my life. And that's also one of the reasons I dumped him. I guess there are quite a few people out there who write their blogs under the title "My Life" and talks about his/her relationship with his/her partner. Not that it's wrong, it really is fully up to you to write anything in your own blog. But it's just sad if your life is just about breaking up and making up with one person or worse a couple. There must be more to love than that. It's not necessarily a girlfriend-boyfriend thing, it's something we give other people around us even though we don't know who they are, let alone have an intimate relationship. We could help someone without knowing where the person is from, right? Just lend a hand.

It's as simple as that.

Don't talk about the philosophy of love, it's too complicated.

(Maybe by writing this, my right brain is improving)

These Last Couple of Days (Part 2)

So yesterday, I went to the beach in Taylor Park, not very far away from home but it was my first time there. Kara and I went crazy right away.





Just in case you can't read what it says. "Kara N.A = bff " that's what it says. :)

So we played around the beach for like two hours and had to say goodbye. I don't know whether I'm gonna see her again or not. :(

After I took a shower, it's time for strawberry shortcake!!

(I know I gotta learn how to decorate food.) With the freshly picked strawberries, this shortcake is delectable, complete with whipped cream at the top.

The temperature has reached the nineties and all the fans in the house are working hard to keep us satisfied. I wanna make cheese salmon and shrimp complete with strawberry smoothie.

These Last Couple of Days (Part 1)

My regents exams are over. Suddenly, the weather gets nice. Suddenly, everybody is out. Suddenly, no one wants to go home. Hahah! But yeah, we don't have a choice. So these last couple of days, we hang out a lot, making the most out of our numbered days.


A pool party at Nicole's last week. She went to Tenesse last Saturday and won't be back until the 29th, which means I won't see her again. :(


Rowing the inflatable boat with Nicole, going round and round while Liz is splashing water.


A get together at the Asian Buffet yesterday. Yeah we ate a lot and bugged the Chinese guy a lot. Without him, this picture couldn't have been taken. :)


This morning, I went strawberry picking nearby! And we're gonna make strawberry shortcake. I'm excited.


Mohsina, my hostdad and I gathered our 29 quarts of strawberries!!

I have sent home 4 boxes of "stuff" and I'm almost all packed up and ready to go..
:(
Right now, I'm waiting for Kara to pick me up 'coz we're going to the beach.. I'm so excited. So, I'll write again later!

cheers!

School is O-v-e-r

I don't know whether I'm supposed to be happy or sad, but I will certainly miss this school. Hugh C Williams Senior High School, located in the Canton School District. A three floor brick building in the middle of a population of trees...


I guess I should give you a lil' sneak peek. When you enter the main door, you will see this hallway. Those frames hanging on the wall are the pictures of the school productions, numerous plays. They once did The Sound of Music, Oklahoma!, Meet Me at St Louis, and the most recent one that I fortunately got involved in, Grease!




All the plays are performed in this auditorium. It could probably fit up to 600 audiences, approximately



One of the classrooms. This is my English and creative writing class. A TV with a DVD player, book covers in the form of posters, motivating quotes, shelves of books.



The gymnasium is the place where all the winter sports practices are held. Of course you don't expect people practicing in the deep snow outside, do you? In home games, the spectators sit on those bleachers and cheer. The school's mascot is a Golden Bear (that bear that you can see hugging the letter C) and of course the school's colors are brown and gold, as you can see.




The row of lockers. Those posters hanging on the wall are posters to get the team mates pumped up for the play-offs.


This poster is made by my team mate, Emily before our basketball play-offs.


The team locker room!! I could never forget this room. It's where, before every home game we got changed and usually play some loud musics too.


oops, this picture needs to be rotated. O'well...
Yes, everybody in the whole world, I believe, are busy reminding each other to RECYCLE. This rubbish bin was painted by the Environmental Club.

Of course if there are recycling bins, there must be stuff to recycle. Well, these vending machines help fill those bins up! Let me tell ya, that drink at the very left, Gatorade, is my favorite drink. I drank that a lot after tests or during basketball season. Mrs Clark used to tease me, "Your Gatorade days are numbered!" LOL


The library, interestingly enough, is called LRC (Learning Resource Center). It is connected to the computer lab. This is where I usually sit and do homework after school because I never wanted to bring home thick, heavy textbooks! This particular room is always bright because the roof top is made out of glass so the sun is always welcome to enter this quiet zone room.

I'm Almost There

Dear Nadhila,
As your host year winds to a close, all of us at AFS and Sponsored Programs would like to congratulate you on completing your adventurous year in America. While we're certain that you're experiencing some mixed feeling about returning home, we would also like to request that you keep a few things in mind as you prepare to depart Canton for Washington DC and eventually Indonesia.

That is the opening paragraph of a letter that AFS just sent me along with my last stipend check. LOL, I know for sure that I'm not the only one who is experiencing some mixed feeling about returning home. I also know for sure that some people are not experiencing mixed feeling at all.

I want to tell you a little bit about the block party that took place last week. It may be one of the reasons I hate to leave this small town...

With half a year of frozen winter, spring and summer is certainly the most awaited seasons here in Northern New York. In Canton, every year, they hold a block party and a parade of The Dairy Princess. It is when the town just stops and gather together in the park and dance, the main street was closed and served as a dance floor! The program's sponsor was John Deere, a big farming company. There was a two day bazaar (friday and saturday) where people sell all kinds of stuff from hotdog to t-shirts, and the parade day, which was a saturday that's when the dairy princess meet the town people. And country musics were played. It is one of those rare and biggest moments that happen in this small town.
I went to the park on friday after school and as soon as I arrived, I saw Elizabeth, Nicole, Kelly and Lizz along with other people selling refreshments to fund raise for a cancer society. We talked and I ended up helping them carry around the money box. I met other friends who ran up to me, hug me and talked and laughed with me. It's that sense of sincere togetherness that I longed the most. It's that feeling of being a world citizen, the feeling of being able to be part of them, to understand that they too are human being, it's priceless. At school, classes supports individuality. Togetherness in almost nonexistent, especially in winter. The block party was where I suddenly feel I was alive and full of life, meeting people, talking and laughing like crazy, having fun under the burning sun, being free.
I looked around the park and said, "Damn, I'm gonna miss this!"


(These are some of the pictures I managed to take during the block party.)

Tomorrow is my french final exam and here i am doing nothing at all.

I gotta memorize these somehow...

USES OF THE IMPERFECT TENSE

The Imperfect tense is used in the following cases:

• v Description in the past: La maison était énorme et avait trois fenêtres.
• v Describing the weather at a time in the past: Il faisait très beau.
• v Giving an opinion in the past, c'était + adjective: C'était magnifique.
• v Talking about something that used to happen regularly in the past:Nous allions en France chaque année. On faisait du ski dans les Alpes.

• v Talking about how things used to be over a period of time in the past: Mon père avait une voiture rouge et ma mère travaillait à l'hôpital.
• v Making excuses: Ce n'était pas de ma faute. Je voulais aider!

• v Saying what was happening, when something else happened; (one action (in the perfect tense) cuts across another on-going one (in the imperfect) Je lisais le journal quand mon père est entré dans le salon. Ma mère travaillait dans le jardin, quand le téléphone a sonné.

The Passé Composé

The passé composé (compound past tense), also referred to as the past indefinite, is made up of two parts, a helping verb and a past participle.

It is formed by using the present tense of the helping verb avoir ( j'ai, tu as, il/elle a, nous avons, vous avez, ils/elles ont) or être ( je suis, tu es, il/elle est, nous sommes, vous êtes, ils/elles sont) and adding a past participle.

The passé composé with avoir

The past participle of regular verbs is formed by dropping the infinitive ending and adding -é for -er verbs, i for -ir verbs, and u for -re verbs. The past participles of irregular verbs must be memorized.

• J'ai travaillé hier. (I worked yesterday.)

• Il a choisi un bon livre. (He chose a good book.)

• Ils ont vendu leur maison. (They sold their house.)

Past participles of verbs that use avoir as their helping verb agree in number and gender with a preceding direct-object noun or pronoun. This is done by adding an -e to indicate a feminine noun or pronoun and an -s to indicate a plural noun or pronoun. No -s is added to a participle that already ends in -s:

• La mousse Je l'ai préparée hier. (The mousse? I prepared it yesterday.)

• Voici les trophées que mon fils a reçus. (Here are the trophies that my son received.)

• Je ne me rappelle pas les bus que nous avons pris. (I don't remember the buses we took.)

The passé composé with être

Only 17 verbs use être as their helping verb. These verbs generally, but not always, express motion or a change of place, state, or condition, such as going up, going down, going in, going out, or remaining. The verbs are:

• descendre (to go down)

• rester (to remain)

• mourir (to die)

• retourner (to return)

• sortir (to go out)

• venir (to come)

• arriver (to arrive)

• naître (to be born)

• devenir (to become)

• entrer (to enter)

• rentrer (to return)

• tomber (to fall)

• revenir (to come back)

• aller (to go)

• monter (to go up)

• partir (to leave)

• passer (to pass by)

When être is the helping verb, the past participle must agree in number and gender with the subject; this is done by adding -e for a feminine subject and -s for a plural subject:

• Il est rentré. (He returned home.)

• Elle est née en juin. (She was born in June.)

• Nous sommes revenus hier. (We came back yesterday.)

• Elles sont tombées. (They fell.)

Verbs that use être or avoir

The verbs descendre (to go down), monter (to go up), passer (to pass by), rentrer (to return home), retourner (to return), and sortir (to go out) generally use être as their helping verb. They may use avoir when the sentence contains a direct object. In these cases, their meaning changes: descendre (to take down), monter (to take up), passer (to spend time), rentrer (to bring in), retourner (to turn over), and sortir (to take out):

• Je suis descendu. (I went downstairs.)

• Je suis descendu du train. (I got off the train.)

• J'ai descendu le livre. (I took the book down.)

• Il est monté. (He went upstairs.)

• Il a monté ses bagages. (He took his luggage upstairs.)

• Il est passé par l'école. (He passed by the school.)

• Il a passé une heure là-bas. (He spent an hour there.)

• Ils sont rentrés tard. (They came home late.)

• Ils ont rentré le chien. (They brought in the dog.)

• Elle est retournée ` Nice. (She returned to Nice.)

• Elle a retourné la lettre. (She turned over the letter.)

• Je suis sortie. (I went out.)

• J'ai sorti mon argent. (I took out my money.)

The passé composé with reflexive verbs

Reflexive verbs use être as their helping verb. When the reflexive pronoun is also the direct object, the past participle agrees with the reflexive pronoun. When the reflexive pronoun is the indirect object (and, thus, the direct object comes after the verb), there is no agreement of the past participle with the reflexive pronoun.

• Il s'est levé à six heures. (He got up at six o'clock.)

• Elle s'est lavée. (She washed herself.)

• Elle s'est lavé la figure. (She washed her face.)

Negating in the passé composé

To negate a sentence in the passé composé, put the negative expression around the conjugated helping verb and any pronouns that precede it:

• Je n'ai pas fini mon dîner. (I haven't finished my dinner.)

• Il n'a rien découvert. (He discovered nothing.)

• Elle n'y est pas restée longtemps. (She didn't stay there a long time.)

• Elles ne se sont jamais maquillées. (They never put on makeup.)

Questions in the passé composé

To form a question in the passé composé, invert the conjugated helping verb (with any pronouns related to it preceding it) with the subject pronoun, and add a hyphen. In general, avoid inverting with je; instead, use est-ce que to form the question. With avoir, a -t- must be added when the subject is il or elle. Negatives surround the hyphenated inverted forms:

• As-tu oublié? (Did you forget?)

• Lui a-t-elle parlé? (Did she speak to him?)

• Y est-elle arrivée? (Did she arrive there?)

• Est-ce que j'ai tort? (Am I wrong?)

• N'a-t-il pas vu ce film? (Hasn't he seen this movie?)

• Vous êtes-vous préparé( e)( s) ? (Did you prepare yourself [yourselves]?)

• Ne s'est-elle pas levée? (Didn't she get up?)

Resources: http://www.cliffsnotes.com/WileyCDA/CliffsReviewTopic/The-Pass-Compos.topicArticleId-25660,articleId-25631.html
italk.com/knowledge/contribution-limparfait.htm

Beginning the Countdown

One month. That's all I have.
Sometimes I wonder where exactly I want to be. I'm scared to back to my country. My reality. Scared to have to wake up from this long dream.
Sometimes I long for the reality. The true life.
Though sometimes I wonder, is my true life also true?

Last night was prom night. Another one of those western culture that we, the easterners adapt, for no particular reason. What? To feel cool, so you waste your time dancing with your friends?
I wonder what the world will be like in 50 years.
After living "The American Life" for almost a year, I am beginning to realize that I don't agree with a lot of things in the society. After attending 3 dances, I'm starting to think that it's pointless. It is wicked fun and yes, you can forget your responsibilities for a while. Then what? You go home and go to bed. Or in some of the American teen's cases, you get drunk and have sex.
Then what?
You wake up knowing you still have one year of high school. Helloo...?! What's the point?
I guess once in a while, you do have to have fun, but that's just not the way. But what can I say? They've been doing this for hundreds of years. It is part of their culture.

Not mine.

And it's different if you're in America, attending a dance party, knowing that it is their culture, their habit, their life from centuries ago, to attending a dance party in Indonesia, where they play American music, which they don't even understand the meaning, not their culture, not their habit, but something they do just to think of themselves as cool, popular, but actually a run away from their reality. I mean, please... come on here guys. I don't disagree with having fun with your friends, but yes I do disagree with excessive dancing (especially when people are grinding. It's like sex with clothes on).

If we're talking about cultures, we're talking about a long period of time. It can be define as:

• an integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for symbolic thought and social learning

• the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization or group.

(http://74.125.47.132/search?q=cache:F4lxV4cFP6gJ:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture+culture&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us)

I thought prom was going to be really special. Really different from other dances such as winter ball and homecoming. But, no. There's no difference except for the nomination of Prom King and Queen, but that also is pointless.

The author F Scott Fitzgerald discusses a lot about the American Culture in the period known as The Jazz Age. If you have read The Great Gatsby or watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, then you have an idea of what I'm talking about. Jazz age is a period in the 1920s, also known as The Roaring Twenties. It happened right before The Great Depression. Back then, in the twenties, American economy was rising. Life was good. Technology and automobiles were improving fast. This is also the period when Hollywood was established. The women were known to wear flappers. Jazz was introduced and until now, it is still considered the genre for the intellects. That was when women went wild and crazy, drinking, having fun with men. Before this period, women were at home in the kitchen, feeding the babies.

Anyway, I'm not going to talk about American History. (Oh, damn exams are coming up!) I'm not going to talk about anything particular either here, actually, apart from how interestingly pointless the dances are.

When I shop More than I Read

So, now you obviously know that I love reading and writing, right??
One day..I went to my town's library to get the book that I'd been wanting to read. I used the computer catalog and found the book was available. I went to the shelf that drives me nuts everytime! I'm not a crazy alphabetical order person and it confuses me! I still wanted to learn though. Just as I was telling myself, "I hope that librarian guy won't find me here and offer me help like usual because I really want to get the hang of this!" that guy saw me and said, "Need help, Nadhila?" (yes, he knew my name and that surprised me at first. Library is like the only place here to escape from reality. LOL. I often go there.)
I sighed, "Yes. I'm looking for Orhan Pam..."
"Orhan Pamuk! That should be down here!" he knealt down and got the book "Snow"
"Gee...thanks!"

When I was at the counter just about to check the book out, that librarian guy (I don't know what his name is. But he knows mine. How funny is that?) said, "Uuh...I'd like that card, but I don't think you would want to give that card to us," laughing.
I looked down to my hand and realized that instead of the library card, I pulled out my debit card!!
How embarrassing.

Being Different?

If you are living with a bunch of loving friends and loving family, people knows you and love you because they know you, you feel like you're always under the spotlight. You live in a big mansion in the middle of a garden of orchids, a swimming pool that you have your party in, but you always care for the poor. You celebrates your birthday in an orphanage, spend your time at Starbucks with a mini laptop on your lap and laughing with your friend on the phone. You are wealthy, famous, kind, and smart.

You are obviously in your comfort zone. You feel so comfortable that you never think the opposite. You wouldn't dare.

When you are immersed in a situation where everyone else value your values differently, and you realize that they are different, that you are different, I wonder who is going to survive?

Indonesia may be a nation of diversity. Diverse in a way of their languages and cultures. Their religions might be different, but it's not really obvious, is it? They ride cars, bikes, motorbikes, planes; they watch TVs and play video games. Here, in the country, let me tell you about the Amish.

The various Amish (pronounced /ˈɑːmɪʃ/, AH-mish) or Amish Mennonite church fellowships are Christian religious denominations, and they form a very traditional subgrouping of Mennonite churches. They are often best known for their simple living, plain dress and their resistance to the adoption of many modern conveniences. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amish)
In northern New York, there are a good amount of Amish people. They ride horse carts, the women wear head scarves and long black dresses, the men have long beard, always reminds me of the Middle Eastern people. They have their own school, they don't use electricity at their houses, and they work by farming and selling their crops and other skilled jobs like making wooden heaters, making pies, rattan fruit baskets, quilts, etc. And I heard, they hate it when people take pictures of them. But somehow I managed to take a video of the cart. LOL.
At first,on my first month here, I was scared I saw a woman in black walking downtown, and I found later on that she was an Amish. The Amish look scary because they are different than most Americans, than the people around them. Totally different by appearance. You will never guess that they too are Americans. The men always wear this round hat and I never wanted to see their faces, as if they might kill me with their eyes or something.

This afternoon, I walked downtown (where else do I go around here) to the Cafe because I wanted to buy some used books. As I was walking home, for the first time since in my life, I came face to face with an Amish guy. He was wearing a brown round hat, his beard goes down to his chest and he was carrying a couple of rattan baskets. I freaked out a little bit and stared down at the pathway, I thought about the middle eastern tradition that women are not allowed to look at men in the eyes, but something tells me that I have to look up. So I did. Oh my...
He might be in his twenties, he has light green eyes, light brown skin with this very smooth complexion, his smile was nice and sincere, showing his white, neat teeth, "Hi," he said in this very soft man's voice. I am not even kidding! He looked very nice and friendly. "Hi," I replied, throwing back a smile. It's like as if his eyes were...electrifying! I kept walking and glanced to my left corner. There, stood the horse and the cart, full of rattan baskets. Then I thought to myself, "Wow, I never thought, that they too are normal human beings like everybody else. Maybe even better!!" (referring to his electrifying look. LOL)

Sometimes I wonder how do they survive in the American secular community? A few months ago, the newspaper reported that an Amish cart was hit by a car, the Amish was found dead.
Other times I feel envious towards the fact that they could preserve their beliefs and tradition. They live in America but they are not affected by its society's behavior. They don't even watch TV, let alone internet! Goodness!

The western part of America, I think it's Utah and its surroundings, are also inhabited by minorities like that. Though, they are called Mormons. I shall not talk about them because I know nothing about them. LOL.
So, when you are immersed in a situation where everyone else value your values differently, and you realize that they are different, that you are different, who is going to survive?
Those who stand up to what they believe in.

Sensory Impressions

So, okay, how many senses do we have? Five. Unless you're a superstitious kind of person and might have an additional one or two senses. LOL
Obviously, our senses play a big role in our everyday life, if you haven't noticed.

A year ago, at the AFS-YES national orientation (last July), the returnees insisted that we should open up our heart and senses, absorb everything and 'fill up our cups'. Listen to what people say, pay attention, use your eyes, your ears. So I said, "Yeah, of course."
Just yesterday, I went to McDonald's and bought its apple pie. When the first bite entered my mouth, my mind wandered back to a long long time ago when I was little. Yeah, I remembered my first apple pie ate was McDonald's apple pie and that was my favorite! I don't know why the Indonesian McDonald's had stopped selling apple pies. That apple pie that I had yesterday tasted exactly like my childhood apple pie! Yeah... welcome to the marketing world.

Knowing that food is powerfully powerful, that is to fulfill my hunger, I decided to choose cooking class as one of my classes. I found out that I prefer cooking alone. A lot of people means a mess ("did you put baking powder in already?" "Oh, I swear I measured two cups of flour!" "What the...it tates like....). With that in mind, and my beloved recipes, here I go alone...


( .above. My first desert I made at home! Chocolate swirl cheesecake! It does not look perfect, I guess I used too much chocolate, but it tasted really good! ^_^ )



( .above. This is called Tortoni! My second desert! It is an Italian dessert. Took me 30 minutes to make this. Really easy and yummy!!)


(.above. The recipe calls it "Hannah's Easy Bar Cookies". But I don't know who Hannah is and it tastes like brownies. I swear I followed the recipe! So, Let's just call it "Nadhila's chocolate topped brownies. Oh, it's soooo good!!)

Other than those, I also made Gulai sapi, opor ayam, mango smoothies, chocolate chip cookies and muffins. I shall not say that I cook a lot in here, but I shall say that here I cook more than I do at home. Cooking is an art. But, I just do it because I'm always hungry. Haha..
Now wait, who would think that I will be able to cook, to face the hot oven (which I hated), the noisy swirling mixer (I hated that too), and the messiness??
Who would think that I will be able to play basketball, practising 14 hours a week?
Who? I guess I, myself think that I would never do such things. No, no, no, never. I'd rather read books, study, hang out with friends, shop, etc.

Let's just call it "Self-exploration."

Spring means FUN!!

Have I told you lately that I love Spring? dudududu...
LOL. Yes, I do! Spring here makes me want to stay here forever!! The temperature could go up to 90 degrees Fahrenheit, and people are walking their dogs, jogging with their ears plugged to their mp3 player, girls and boys walking together, sitting in the park and eating ice cream. God, it's soooooo....oh, I don't know. But you get the idea.

Here's a few snapshots I managed to take during my wonderful times!! Oh, and it feels like AMERICA!!


Us (me, Joyce, Mohsina and Nicole) hanging out after school at our favorite Ice cream house, Morgan's Ice house!!


Great time for cleaning the road with Canton Rotary Club!!


Posing in front of my school! This pic is taken at about 19:00



Us (me, Carli, Brigid and Emma) hanging out in the park!


These are just a few. My camera has loads of beautiful northern country scenery! Ha!
It's a nice day out, but darn, I have homework! Yeah, well...If only there's mas tukang bakso, es cendol, rujak, ketoprak dan tukang es keliling...Life will be a lot more colorful..

Meandering.

I know I have to start packing up...

But where do I start?

I'm Reading Skeletons at The Feast

Yeah, right. I gotta finish this book. Really.
The book is a fiction novel about WWII based on a WWII survivor's diary. I met the author, Chris Bohjalian, last week. He talked for EXACTLY an hour (sometimes it amazes me how the spinning clock controls our daily lives) about his book. Chris won the New England Book Award in 2002, and his novel, Midwives, was a number one New York Times bestseller, a selection of Oprah's Book Club, a Publishers Weekly "Best Book," and a New England Booksellers Association Discovery pick. His work has been translated into 25 languages and has sold over three and a half million copies. Twice his books have become movies ("Midwives" and "Past the Bleachers").

(yeah...that's the author in the middle)

He told us how, in college, he really wanted to be in a creative writing class but his lecturer rejected him and told him to be a banker instead. And how his works had been rejected hundreds of times.
Oh, and I quoted this from him who quoted from somebody else, I can't remember, "The only way an author publishes his work is when he stops editing."

My creative writing class and I went to his book talk (as you can see, we're all holding his book). It was a great experience (he signed my book. yay.). He's the first American author that I met.
I gotta finish this book NOW.

Grease is the word!

After almost 3 months of practicing, Monday-Thursday, 2 to 4 hours, we finally went on stage with a BANG! The shows were FABULOUS..The tickets were sold out on Friday and Saturday night!! And our matinee show, which was today afternoon, almost sold out! We probably sold over 1000 tickets!
I have to say that the musical is the most amazing thing I have ever been involved in, here. It's just soo...American! Haha...
The practices were fun and because it's GREASE, of course it WAS FUN! I love the movie and wished that I was in it!
Even though I didn't play a role, but to be on stage with hundreds of eyes watching, to practice dancing and singing, to have fun after school, it's just ME!

Ok, the first time I knew about American high school musical play was when I watched "Confession of a Drama Queen" a movie starring Lindsay Lohan. I loved it and wished that someday I could be in a cool thing like that. Guess what? I love that Law of Attraction theory! It came true!!

So, guys and girls...NEVER STOP WISHING!


(This is a short video taken during the Preview of the show. During the show, we were not allowed to take videos because it's considered as a copyright violence. Hope you get a bit of a picture of how it was, enjoy the video!)

Now, Let ME Tell You the Significance of Being an Exchange Student

One thing I realize is that when the sun is smiling at me and so am I. LOL. I mean, when the weather is nice, I'm always pumped up to face the day. That, I realized when I talked to my Ukrainian friend, who easily gets bored. These days, he looks cheerful, most of the time. When I ask him to go out and take pictures, he quickly said yes, "Fresh air! I love it!" he said.

And I also realized this when I read my friend's blog. She's an exchange student hosted in France. Her blog seems more cheerful and in one of her posts, it's obvious that weather is one of the factors. It's almost Spring!

Trust me, when you see snow for like 6 months, you will miss that beautiful sun.

Ok, that paragraph is actually an introduction AND an intermezzo. In this post, I want to write what I feel during my exchange year. Because, I realized that I don't tell you much of what I feel. My posts are mostly stories I observed, events and things that happened.

Looking back to my very first day of school here, until now, I realized that American teenagers are very hard to befriend with, unless you know them your whole life. They've been together since kindergarten and it's no wonder they have built strong bonds, covalent bonds. And I realized that they are living in their own little world. At first, I thought it's because of the language barrier (I don't talk American slangs and let alone northern New York accent) so that I couldn't blend in with the people. I feel this town (including the school) is surrounded by a huge closed bubble. Being a minority in a closed bubble? Wanna bet? I bet you'll cry hard! Probably go crazy and commit suicide (ok, not that extreme please...). One day, I went to Syracuse, a much bigger city, for a conference and saw a lot more diverse people. Then I thought, "I love seeing all these people here."

Nothing occur to me until one day at lunch, one of my friends, she's an American that most of the time disagrees with the American society, said, "I feel sorry for you that you have to live in Canton. It's really boring here. If I were an exchange student, I would hate living in Canton."

But then I answered, "Well, the cities are already full of Asian people. So I would be no use. But in here, I can share something with you guys. (the pressures are on me though, I thought.) I'm thankful that I met you guys!"

They all nodded, "That's true! We're thankful that you are here too!"

My answer was probably the quickest answer I could get at that time. I could've easily answered, "Yeah, I know I'm so unfortunate," but I didn't. When I think about the words I just said, I went, "Oooohhhh!!!"

You think that makes me understand even more about being an exchange student? You betcha!

If I didn't get hosted here;

1) I couldn't have tasted the joy of walking 1 km to school everyday

2) I couldn't have learnt my host parent's favorite recipes and seen their antique cooking tools

3) I couldn't have known that New York does not always mean New York City

4) I couldn't have tried to live in the temperature of -30 C

5) I couldn't have seen the making of maple syrup (my favorite syrup for pancakes)

6) I probably won't have rice cooker and asian foods available

7) I couldn't have observed the life of country people, including the lives of the teens

8) I wouldn't have known who an Amish is and what they do

9) I wouldn't have realized how luxurious my Jakarta life was

10) I wouldn't have realized how great my parents are

11) I wouldn't have met a great English teacher that teaches me American Literature and writing (she was an exchange student too when she was in college)

12) I couldn't have been able to live without TVs, Malls and Cells

13) I couldn't have learnt my host parent's unusual generosity

14) I wouldn't have met my AFS sister, the quietest girl I have ever known but could be fun too

15) I wouldn't have met my AFS besties, my team mates, plus my American besties Emma, Vicky, Elizabeth, Kaitlin, Hillary.

And a lot of other things. My life is pretty much the same here, no big changes or anything. It's just a matter of looking at things from a different perspective. Imagine if my life is still like in Jakarta, I wouldn't possibly get those things. Why cry over things like these?

Talking about friends and besties, I want to tell you that there are also people who talks to me insincerely. Which I'm sick of. They say stuff like, "Hi!", "Bye!", "So, how are you?" , "I like your shirt!", "How do you like it here?"

One sentence, two sentences and that's it. I guess they are actually nice people but they aren't friendly or they don't know what else to say (talk about friendliness, I think Asians are unbeatable). I just smile, you know... not really considering them as someone that means anything to me. Just a Hi-Bye friend.

I didn't think I could hate anything easily. I love food, people, whatever just the same. I never really hated anything. Until that moment. The moment where I realized that most people in here sucks, I hate the teenage life, the society, the town, the weather, I hated everything (except food). Why do I have to be the one who always have to start the conversation? Why are they talking to me insincerely? Why do I have to be the one who have to find out everything that's going on?

I hated it. I was sick of it. Homesickness is the result of a happy home life, and it occurs often in a child who misses the warmth and security that comes from a good relationship with family and friends. (cited from: www.scoutscan.com/resources/homesick.html)

I won't get homesick if the situation here is better than at home. Like when I was in Australia, hell I didn't even want to go home, I felt like I was already Australian. Of course, until this moment, I don't feel like an American at all! But an Indonesian in America. Why? Because the point of this whole thing is for me to be able to think about myself and my country in an outsider's point of view. I opened up my old agenda. The one that I used to write orientation stuff. The diagram of interdependency, the diagram of 'seeing everything beyond the obvious', Kak Imam Prasodjo's recomendation on books to read and movies to watch, our talent show plans, things that I should do before the departure, that agenda really opened up my mind again and reminded me to see this year from a helicopter view.

I went online and read my friends' blogs. They're all different in contents but it calmed me down when I know that I'm not the only one that's suffering from homesickness.

So, I guess homesick is a common thing. Just get over it.

I have about 13 weeks left. A lot of people are worrying over how to bring their 10 pairs of shoes home, what kind of suitcases to bring home, but I'll leave those one out for later. I don't think I'm ready to go home yet. I said yet. I will be, eventually, I think. It's just scary to go back, well it seems scary. I don't know why.

Anyway, today is staff development day which is why I'm not in school. I think I'm gonna go downtown and get some cheesecake and hot chocolate at the blackbird cafe. I have just finished reading "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy (an awesome book) and I've started reading "Predictably Irrational" (an awesome book. Recommended by my father. hehe) and next week, I'll be reading "Skeleton at The Feast" AND meet the author of that book!

At the end of this month, I will be up on stage! Wish me luck...

The Unstable March

I don't think people in Jakarta rely on weather forecast very much. I think it's because in the equator, the weather is unpredictable. Myself, I never paid attention to weather forecast. Until... One day my host mum insisted for us to buy boots and leave flip flops at home. Exactly the next day after I bought my boots, it snowed heavily. This was probably in November. From then on, I believe what ever the weather man on the radio says. And of course I rely on my thermometer to decide what outfit I should wear to school. The weather is pretty much the same all through November, December, January, February; snowing, chilly and dry and just gloomy. Until the beginning of this month when the icicles are starting to melt, all the snow are starting to turn into ice and puddle (not pleasant) I began to grow hope that spring is almost here. Some people says that I shouldn't get my hope up because it will snow again. Yes, it happened. I was totally annoyed. I'm sick of snow already!

Now, March is almost over. The weather is sunny most of the time. I even shot some hoops with the Pulombos the other day and took pictures at the school's huge yard. I'm just looking forward to Spring!

Ok, enough about the weather. What had happened in March?

Ok well, one of the teachers in my school got suspended THEN arrested because he went out drinking with a student. He's the teacher that is supposed to lead the musical. Everyone in the musical are not pleased.

Last Sunday, my AFS friends and I went to a Maple Syrup factory. Maple syrup is so yummy and it's a Northern country thing. But Vermont produce more maple syrup than New York. I saw how they collect the sap from the maple trees and process them until it turns into syrup. They first condense the sap, increase the percentage of sugar from 2% to 67%, and filter the remaining minerals and voila! From the syrup, they also make maple cream (really yummy on toasts) and maple candies!

I feel I have too much time now I no longer join sports at school. I realized that my time management is better when I was busied by all the basketball practices and games. Even though I go to the musical rehearsals every monday to thursday, but it doesn't take as long. I guess I like being busy better. Keeps my mind off of home.

I have 3 months left. I don't really care about it. I just don't want to go to school here (I mean high school). It's so tiring. Though I know the education system is better than Indonesian in a way that we are able to learn a wide variety of things rather than narrowing our choices. I just don't like the fact that we have to change classes every 45 minutes and the homework are boring. Basically just answering questions in the book. It's not challenging! I like making presentations better. Makes me understand the concept AND the applications better.\

So...yeah...3 months, suck it up!

Let it Pour...

They are civilized. They communicate with words. They are nourished.

Should the world be different because we are indifferent?

Yet everything else in nature are different with a purpose.

Yes, there must be purposes.

But we are just indifferent.

When their words, their laughs, their eyes are thrown pebbles.

When what they say, what they do are thrown rocks.

Yet you stand there like a mannequin, pretending like there is nothing wrong.

You scribbles and swears. Mad.

Team Spirit

I was probably fragile. Never did anything harsh. Was always slow, clumsy and I don't know what else. When I got into the Basketball Team, I stayed strong (well, most of the time. haha...). My first practice : I felt like I might as well throw up and faint! After a week of practice, yup, I successfully sprained BOTH of my ankles! It was because of the shoes I wore, a pair of tennis shoes. The practices are serious. We run...and run...and run...throw..throw..throw..play...play...play..!

I was a callow at basketball, didn't know anything. But with the patience from my coach and my team mates, I'm now much much better!

Playing sports here, in the US makes me realized not only the importance of sport itself, but also the team work and professionalism. During the peak season, the practice is 2 hours everyday, Monday to Saturday. Yes, I was like dead! The smell of muscle cream is everywhere in the house.

I could understand why losing sucks, why we practice everyday, and why America is a huge sport nation. It's about sportsmanship, career, business, scholarship, spirit! A lot of universities offers sport scholarship, people pay to watch the games, the games are on the newspaper and radio, a lot of people do sport for their career, and the spirit? This is what my coach, Mr Meyers said,

"You may not be best friends at school, but in the team you all have to be best friends."

The spirit, not only the cheering, but also the sensation of it, makes us have a goal, that is to win!

We won 5 games out of 20 and lost at the first playoff which ended our season that started last October. It may not sound good, but we swallowed everything, the goods and the bads.

The ups and downs of being in a team, especially for me as an exchange student, really make us stronger physically and mentally. And it sure has been a GREAT experience for me. I doubt that I am going to play basketball again in a team when I go home (it's hard, life in the city. Time goes slowly but we're always running out of it.) But whatever is going to happen with me and basketball, I sure will always love it and my experience here (including the sprained ankles, sore legs, hurt whatever..) is unforgettable!

Running Away for Awhile

I'm on one week of winter break. I'm in Cape Cod, Massachusetts with my host family, living in their daughter's house.
Ok?

I'm just surfing the net, reading my friends' blogs.

Hmmph...I'm desperate to do something interesting. Any idea?
I don't want to waste money, though...So, what should I do?

Ok, I just don't understand with people who keeps counting down till the end of June. Ok people, I know that we are not living in our own countries, not surrounded by people we know and love, not nothing. Just us. Ok?
But can you please at least try to PRETEND like you're enjoying it here?
Goodness gracious!

(I know this is really random. I told you I need to do something. I'm bored.)